Alright already! So enough about toilets! But if you think I will GO AWAY I shall tell you exactly what I tell all the lawyers that bang on my door: “Nope.”
Today I’m starting with a new line of intriguing Sims 4 custom content articles that point out all the genius ideas you may have missed, and all the absolute FAILS I find too. And I WILL find fails. To downloaders, I say ‘understand exactly what you are downloading’. To the artists concerned, I say ‘bite me!’ And to myself, I say ‘they can’t catch what they can’t see’. Anyway, here goes.
Padre is a great friend of mine. As such, I shall assume he has a sense of humour – but I will hide just in case he doesn’t. Artists can be a fickle bunch when you criticise, parody and insult their work. I never understand that. If I insulted and parodied MY creations, I’d assume I deserved it.
Homestead – short for ‘Go Home Instead’
I’m going to be looking at Padre’s beautiful Homestead Heath sets (as usual, links can be found somewhere really inconvenient below). I will show you how they can make us all feel at one with nature. Some of the items shown above might not be included with the sets but I have incorporated them to give you great design ideas. You’re welcome.
We all know that Homestead is short for “Go Home Instead”. There is a reason for this because, if like me you are easily bewildered, then the Homestead Heath sets will definitely bewilder you too! Read on…
What’s included in Homestead Heath?
I like to keep things mysterious and, to avoid spoiler alerts, I won’t tell you what is included in which set. That makes reading this more fun for you. But you’ll find furniture, plants, pots, chairs, tables, rug and all sorts of different things to remind us of nature.
Our first step back to nature comes in the Zoo Tycoon dining chair. Yes, you too can now sit inconsiderately on top of your favourite animal in The Sims 4. A variety of animals are available, from barcode zebra to inside-out rhino.
Disappointingly, there is no fluffy chick, slimy frog or disgruntled tortoise option.
Be warned! This chair stands a very real risk of triggering the wrath of the DON’T SIT ON ANMIALS movement.
I chose the Mad Cow version only to discover that, not only was the cow VERY mad about being sat on, it also ponged a bit too.
Dining à la wall
Padre has thoughtfully included a strangely non-matching Homestead Heath dinner serving set. Two, in fact (maybe he didn’t think the first one was quite right). The fact the plates don’t match does make me suspect that he’s been stealing them from various people’s kitchens while no-one was looking. Personally, I like all my kitchenware to match, but I suppose, if you are a crook, you can’t be choosey like that.
But what I don’t understand is why he’s bolted them to the wall! Perhaps it’s a new way to save the planet. Let all the dinner drop off to the floor, no dish-washing needed. For bonus points, mount them low enough that your dog can lick them clean. We tried them with fried eggs with mixed results, but nature gained a point because it finally meant the dog was fed.
Padre takes nature into account in his designs. The excellent ceiling lighting comes in three lengths (one to burn your hair with the bulb, one to kick you in the midriff when sneaking downstairs for a midnight feast, and the last to stub your toe on).
But we’re not troubled by the lengths when the real purpose of these lights is considered. Swing toys for primates! How can we be mad about a stubbed toe when chimpanzees can swing around the room in such glee?
These sets are actually passable (that is a MAJOR compliment for a Cyclonesue Trusted Review, and I’m only giving it because Padre was a friend before I wrote this). The sets lost points because the angry cow won’t let us sit on the chair, we have yet to eat a three-course-meal from the wall plates and the chimp has pooped all over the Homestead Heath rug, spoiling (soiling?) the sets.
As a result, this set receives our consistently disappointing 2/10 score.
Padre tells us that our Trusted Review of the Homestead Heath series is a lot of badly-Photoshopped nonsense. How rude! But some people have a hard time accepting the TRUTH when it is told. A meagre 2/10 always elicits this reaction. I should know because it is the only score I give.
As for threats about lawyers, well, I say “join the queue”. Yes, “JOIN THE QUEUE”. No forwarding address will be left behind here.
Download from here:
- the HARSH TRUTH about Sims 4 toilets
- the DAMA ‘beady’ toilet – a toilet that toilets back at you
- the RADON self-detonating toilet menace
- Princess – the leaky truth about Sims 4 toilet fashion
- Pet Potties – more useless animals for Sims 4?
Every one a harsh and chilling true story!