The TSR Complaints Office (where we keep your Sims 4 toilets)…
This is where the SERIOUS business of TSR takes place. Yes, reviews and complaints. Not complaints about Sims 4 toilets, but complaints about the Cyclonesue Truthful Review series…
Yes, everything you whinge about my absolutely TRUTHFUL reviews lands on my desk and glides gracefully to the floor where they will remain for the next 200 years, glued together by sticky donut mess. For younger people, this is an office concept known as “filing”. The fact your complaints have been filed all over the office carpet means that I unfortunately cannot address your gripes and have forgotten them already. So sorry about that. Too bad, so sad! We also file Final Demands here in case you’re a bailiff looking for payment…
And if you haven’t read my truthful reviews yet, these are what people have been complaining about:
- the HARSH TRUTH about Sims 4 toilets
- the DAMA ‘beady’ toilet – a toilet that toilets back at you
- the RADON self-detonating toilet menace
Every one a harsh and chilling true story!
Apparently, some people have found my Truthful Reviews – untruthful… How absurd! The very fact the word “TRUTHFUL” appears in the title means it cannot be untruthful. Simple logic. So, recent specimens have been awarded 2/10 – but this is not my fault. Blame the people who create toilets that look better than mine. It is my deskbound DUTY to point out their imperfections. If anyone knows a 10/10 Toilet Of The Year candidate, it’s me.
Now, because of the
complaining old codgers darling TSR readers who bother to write in and ruin enhance my career, my boss, moaning old goat that he is, has told me to move on from toilets. I am apparently supposed to focus on ‘something else’, like “FASHION”!
This website apparently has a whole ‘fashion’ section. Can’t say I noticed. Bet you haven’t either, and you don’t need to, because I know everything there is to know about fashion. Those bunny slippers weren’t just a random selection from my wardrobe, you know!
Fashionable convenience fit for a Princess!
Among other pretty things that probably don’t belong in a typical Cyclonesue-style screenshot are the wearable Princess Nursery potties.
These Sims 4 toilets come in a range of three colours for every occasion, with comfort padding designed to make them wearable throughout the day (and night). However, they are at least 10 sizes smaller than we believe they should be. How is anyone supposed to fit into one of these?! I’m very fortunate to be svelte-like, but even I can see that it’ll take me a week or two to squeeze into this miniscule party contraption.
Time to run this through the Photoshop Machine of Supersize-Me!
Sadly, I can confirm that this toilet still DOES NOT FIT. I did not feel like a princess, especially given that I had to be removed from the contraption by several emergency services workers who all seemed a little bit cross about the whole thing.
Impractical toilet design
No assembly instructions were provided so we had to cut a hole the size of Calcutta through the bottom in order to fit into it. But this brings us to this fashion accessory’s biggest flaw…
It is a well known fact that Sims of all ages suffer the perennial problem of toilet-training. This is why EA gives us waterproof floor tiles in the game. It doesn’t matter because no-one seems to bat an eye-lid as puddles abound, but the idea of the Princess Potty is that you don’t have to be ‘THAT Sim’ any longer!
The concept is marvellous! You never need to leave a party again for a mere matter of “convenience”. Your fashion item offers facilities wherever you go. Whether selecting your favourite hors d’oeuvres, sipping champagne or reminiscing about the Battle of Waterloo with posh party guests, you can discreetly ‘go with the flow’ without anyone else in the room being any the wiser!
Another disappointing Sims 4 toilet
Unfortunately, just like everything else not made by me, this Sims 4 toilet simply doesn’t work in reality. You cannot wear it if you don’t cut a hole right through it. When you DO cut a hole right through it, your bid for discretion is lost in a flood right where you are standing. And when there’s a brand new puddle, no-one cares about your thoughts about Waterloo any longer.
I no longer have any party friends. And my bunny slippers are RUINED!
Severinka thinks our standard review score for disappointment (2/10) is harsh. Firstly, she claims the toilet is for small children. Well, Severinka, we were ALL small children once! Secondly, she claims that the potty is not designed for wearing. Colour me stupid, but since when is any outfit NOT designed for wearing?!
We, at Cyclonesue Trusted Review Offices, stand by our fair and unbiased review so you don’t have to. Everyone needs to know what kind of toilet they’re wearing, and Severinka DOES owe me a pair of new bunnies!!