If you’ve spent any time playing with the Lovestruck features in The Sims 4, you may have run into one of the most unintentionally chaotic mechanics the game has ever produced: the Secret Admirer call.
On paper, it’s a sweet idea. Your Sim gets a mysterious confession, a chance at romance, and maybe even a few collectibles or gifts along the way. In practice? That admirer is almost always married, pregnant, or already in a committed relationship—or in some cases, not even human.
And players are getting tired of it.
A “wealthy weirdo” secret admirer call from the Lovestruck system in The Sims 4, where an NPC boasts about buying Social Bunny and Cupid’s Corner before offering gifts.
The Pattern Players Can’t Ignore
The original complaint is simple and relatable: why are secret admirers almost always married Sims? A little realism is fine—affairs happen—but when every single admirer is unavailable, it stops feeling like storytelling and starts feeling like a design oversight.
Many players echoed the same frustration. Constantly having to:
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Decline advances
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Nuke romance bars
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Avoid breaking up families
quickly becomes exhausting, especially for legacy or story-focused saves.
Some players even mentioned admirers showing up pregnant, which adds another layer of “absolutely not” to the situation.
Does anyone know why lovestruck secret admirers are ALWAYS married??
byu/KAM_Kayla inSims4
When the Game Goes Completely Off the Rails
As with most Sims discussions, things quickly spiraled from annoyance into absurd comedy.
Players reported secret admirers, including
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Father Winter, who apparently enjoys bragging about his wealth while flirting
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Married elders and grandparents
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Repeated appearances from Geoffrey or Nancy Landgraab across multiple saves
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Gallery townies with full families already established
And in one unforgettable case, a cat.
Yes. A cat.
While that one is almost certainly a glitch, it perfectly captures how unpredictable—and immersion-breaking—the system can feel.
An anonymous secret admirer reaches out in The Sims 4 Lovestruck, giving players multiple ways to respond—from curiosity to outright rejection.
Uneven Triggers and Gender Weirdness
Another recurring observation is how unevenly these events trigger. Some players have never seen a secret admirer in years of gameplay, even with every pack installed. Others get them constantly—sometimes multiple times in the same save.
There’s also a strange imbalance where:
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Married male Sims receive repeated admirer calls
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Their spouses receive none, even over long in-game periods
This has led players to suspect bugs related to:
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Career proximity (coworkers appearing as admirers)
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Event cooldowns reset when traveling or reloading
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The same systems that affect stayover events in Growing Together
In short: the mechanic doesn’t just feel messy—it feels broken.
Mods to the Rescue (As Usual)
Thankfully, the community did what it always does best.
Several players recommended mods that:
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Restrict secret admirers to single young adults or adults
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Reduce the starting romance level so it doesn’t jump straight to “deeply satisfied.”
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Fix cooldown bugs that cause events to repeat far more often than intended
For many, these mods instantly turned an irritating feature into something usable—and even fun.
Comment
byu/KAM_Kayla from discussion
inSims4
A Cute Idea Trapped in a Flawed System
The consensus isn’t that secret admirers are bad. In fact, many players love the concept, especially when it comes with fun gifts like crystals or rare collectibles.
The problem is execution.
When the system overwhelmingly selects married Sims, elders, or inappropriate NPCs, it pushes players into storylines they didn’t choose—and actively don’t want.
A little tuning from EA could go a long way here. Until then, mods remain the only reliable fix.
Final Thought
Secret admirers should feel exciting, surprising, and romantic. Right now, they mostly feel like an awkward phone call you’re obligated to shut down before it wrecks half the neighborhood.
And honestly? Your Sim deserves better than being Geoffrey Landgraab’s midlife crisis.
Source: Reddit
